


SAY IT AIN'T SO

by ForTheOffBeatHeart



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Angst, Cute, Dreams and Nightmares, F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Humor, Gay, Gay moments, Keith (Voltron) is Bad at Feelings, No one knows Pidge is a girl, PMS, Pining, Pining Keith (Voltron), Please give me comments, Shiro Knows, Silly, Socially Awkward Keith (Voltron), Team Bonding, That arent actually gay, straight - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-05-04
Updated: 2018-06-22
Packaged: 2018-10-28 03:59:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 11,950
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10823310
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ForTheOffBeatHeart/pseuds/ForTheOffBeatHeart
Summary: Only Shiro knows Pidge's secret. So when Keith keeps feeling that pounding in his chest, the young paladin is concerned, to say the least. He's having a pre mid life crisis, actually. Let's see how it turns out.Because I haven't seen the whole show (and even after I have, this is hard) , but wanna start this, it doesn't keep perfectly in line with the plot. But it is in the same universe! Same situation! EXCEPT Pidge never came out as a girl. I just wanna get this out there! ヾ(´ー｀)ﾉ





	1. What the Hell

There is something to be said about the feeling of having just barely survived. Keith's heart is a cold lump in his chest as it pounds against his ribs and throat. Allura had opened a portal just in time, and while he wasn't worried about himself making it, he found himself hating being the second to enter the wormhole. He couldn't see those behind him. Was the rest of his team okay?

Keith yanked up and turned the red lion around, to see Lance right behind him going full speed! They crashed into each other as the gravitational pull of their alien planet took hold.

"Lance, you idiot! Why are you going so fast!"

"Oh, I'm sorry! Can't take the heat?" The other pilot's voice made Keith's lip scrunch upward in a half hearted grimace. He wouldn't let Lance win. Thrusting the controls forward, they both sped up. Being smaller, the red lion was faster and caught less air across its feline exterior. But they were too close to the ground now. Too close! A comfortable smirk streaked Keith's face as he pulled up sharply, landing on the hind paws before the front hit the sandy ground in a cloud of dust. Forward again, the red lion carried it's momentum into a leap as Lance crashed behind him. He chuckled, forgetting Shiro could hear him.

"Keith, don't encourage him." He sounded tired, and he was still smiling but guilt panged through his chest.

"Sorry." His heart was still pumping excitedly as they gathered in the castle to rest, the cold fear of risk long since melted. Shiro was first. Allura was waiting for them, and the black paladin sat beside her. Keith sat on the opposite couch, on the near edge. He needed to calm down so he could sleep. Lance came waltzing in, then Hunk. 

He was tired, and he was really ready to go to bed, but he scooted over a bit. In came Pidge, who had been hidden by Hunk. He passively wondered how the small pilot got his hair to fit in his helmet. It looked fluffy. Keith ran a hand through his own hair. It wasn't terribly soft, but it was thick. He liked not having to worry about going bald.

Pidge yawned and stretched, and kept on walking. Keith felt something rise and fall in his chest with the green paladin's movements. Huh. It must have been left over connection from forming Voltron?

"You going straight to bed, Pidge?" Shiro asked. He looked surprised that someone noticed him.

"Uh, yeah. I have some damage to fix on my radio. Someone," he glared at Lance, and then at Keith, "decided to cut me off - and crash right in front of me" Keith's chest thumped to life again, but not in fear. He pursed his lips and drew his head back, eyes wide. He felt his face heat up, and hoped it wasn't enough to turn his pale skin pink. The glare was surprising, and surprisingly... not so scary. Pidge's glare turned into a scowl. Keith must have accidentally smiled.

"Got a problem?" The small pilot leaned in abruptly and there was not enough space between their faces. His face was dangerously daring him to say something, but it was almost... cute?

"What? No! I don't have a problem! Do you? I'm going to bed, too! Goodnight!" He slid off the side of the couch to avoid getting any closer to the now slightly fuming Pidge, but he fell when he tried to stand. His knees and legs felt weak, and he wobbled as he stood and strode to his room. He quickly and clumsily opened the door, swiveled in, and shut it, locking it.

"What the hell was that?"


	2. Oh. I'm Fine

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Keith is trying to make sense of things he's trying to convince himself are illusions. But no matter what he does, that thumping in his chest won't go away. And, does Pidge hate him?

Keith had a headache. It wasn't pounding, demanding constant attention, and hindering. But it was annoying. It was the kind of dull throbbing that would seem to intensify whenever he remembered it was there, but really wasn't too bad... It had woken him up, however. That was not okay. He had no way of knowing what time it was, but no one else was stirring but some mice in the wall. However many hours of sleep he got, it was not enough. He groaned, covering his face with his arm. The pressure on his eyes made it worse. Must be a stress headache.

Since he was awake now, and there was barely any light for his eyes to adjust to, he decided it would be the best use of his consciousness to go to the bathroom. Maybe drinking water will help. He regretted that thought the second he stood up. The throbbing got worse, much worse, but suddenly he felt like his bladder was going to burst.

"Oh- geez- crap-" He dashed out the door and turned down the hall, bolting as swiftly as he could to where he remembered a bathroom being. He heard a quick, loud squeak behind him, but the rats weren't his friends! He didn't have time for this! He shoved the door open with his whole body and was flooded with bright white light. Stall! Stall stall stall stall stall stall! He made it just in time. It was a wonder he didn't miss, for his eyes not having time to adjust. Everything was blurry, but he was experienced. Sucking in a much-needed breath, Keith exhaled slowly with a long, satisfied and relieved sigh.

"Oh, man... Well, I'm definitely awake now" he muttered as he slipped his pajama pants back on. With another sigh from deep in his chest, he pushed the stall door open and went to wash his hands and face. The cold water felt nice. He wet his hands again and again after washing them, rubbing his eyes, his cheeks, his forehead, and the back of his neck. He put his hands on the sides of the sink and leaned forward, stretching his legs and back. The stretching, the feeling of his weight on his arms and shoulders, and the slight draft of the ventilation unit sent a pleasurable shiver up down his spine.

Keith's shoulders rolled and something in his neck popped, and a a quiet cough made him jump out of his skin. He whipped his head around and saw a wide-eyed Pidge standing there, looking peeved but unarmed. His hair was soaked. His shirt looked only half on. What happened? He spotted a small duffel bag under another sink a few paces away, but in the amount of time it took him to look over and think "Oh, he washed his hair", a towel had materialized and was being twisted into a rope. Pidge was coming right for him! His first though was to dodge. He did. Again and again, Pidge snapped the towel at him and he dodged with fluidity. The green paladin's face was beginning to twitch, and Keith broke into a small smile.

That's all it took for Pidge to change tactics. Instead of snapping the towel and recoiling, he snapped it low then snapped hit high, rapid fire. The first shot stung Keith's arm and he stumbled back, looking for the door, the second nicked his collar bone. The tag must have hit him that time, because the stinging was a lot worse and, once he made his escape and found a reflective surface near light, he could make out thin red streaks. Technically bleeding, but not really bleeding. That was fine, he though.

"But it's not fine! What the heck did I do?" He scowled at his unmade bed for a moment before the frustration melted back into that slight headache. He needed to get back to sleep before it got too bad for him to relax. The glowing in the walls faded and he fell asleep as soon as his head hit the pillow.

Being cool, calm, and calculating, Keith decided to pretend like he didn't get his ass whooped by a midget that night. When Allura had asked about the mark on his neck, he said he'd gotten it from some leaves the Arusians had given him.

"Must have been allergic, or something." Keith gave it a fake scratch for good measure. Lance laughed and went on to gloat that he wasn't allergic to anything, saying, "No little leaves gonna take me down! Nooo Sir!" Everyone continued eating. Pidge didn't say anything, but when Keith glanced over at him he caught the small boy smiling at the mark he'd tried to cover with his hand. Knowing he'd been caught, Pidge startled and looked away, but the blush on his face didn't stop him from grinning proudly. Keith scowled, but Shiro was looking and opened his mouth to ask what was wrong so he hurriedly excused himself to get ready for training.

"What is going on!" Keith ripped off his shirt and threw it on the ground. After a moment he picked it up with his foot and kicked it into the drawer. His heart was beating obnoxiously. It wasn't fast, it was just... loud. It felt loud. He thought about that smile. It was small and full of mirth. It was bad news for him. It was bad for his heart. He impatiently pulled on his suit and pushed through the door. His frown evaporated into a wide-eyed, raised-eyebrows expression of surprise. Pidge was waking past, turned to blankly acknowledge him, and kept on walking without a word. Without a smile. His hair wasn't dripping, but it reminded Keith that he should use the restroom before meeting everyone.

He turned and headed toward that bathroom, thinking about what had happened before. Had he done something to offend Pidge? He was a third of the way when something clicked. Wasn't the men's bathroom the other way? He had turned right. But the first few days, he had turned left. Chatted with Lance and Hunk. He supposed there could have been two men's bathrooms, but he was already jogging nervously and sure enough. there was a sign. Now, he didn't speak Altean, but these lines looked more like a symbol for "female" than the ones he thinks were on the other bathroom. Their were two curved lines, one longer than the other. They made tall, thin hour glass shape.

He remembered thinking the other sign looked like two open-cornered boxes stacked on top of each other. Keith felt a chill run through him, but it had a warm after-feel. He felt his face heat up and turned to the wall, thankful no one was there to see. After all the time he spent not caring for rules and being the best, he hadn't been around many girls. Girls like Allura were fine. She was strong-willed enough to be respectable. Keith could understand what their places were. But... Pidge?

Pidge was small. He was petite, even. His face was round, his eyes glittered,... But no way a girl! Why was he even thinking about this? Pidge was obviously a guy. His chest was flat and his voice was... his voice was warm. It was like the feeling of burrowing into warm sheets. It made Keith's heart jump. It must have been the worry and the lack of quality rest! There was no way Pidge was a girl. Thick lips around a small mouth didn't make a girl. Slight frame and slim shoulder didn't make a girl. Fiery passion and adorable antics didn't make a girl. But, if he were a girl... 

"Nah! Nope! No way!" Keith had accidentally stumbled into the girls' bathroom. Pidge totally could have too. Absolutely.

"No, what?" Keith just about jumped out of his skin. He had been unconsciously made his way to the other bathroom, passing the hall that would take him to where the others would gather. Hunk was pinning him with a worried and curious look. He cleared his face the best he could and gave a faint, comfortable smile.

"Oh. I'm fine. It's nothing, Hunk." The yellow paladin didn't look pleased, but didn't want to be the cause of dysfunction.

"Well- Okay, man. If you're sure, but if not, I, uh, I'm here for you? You know, team bonding and stuff... so, I'll see you. In the other room. Later... Bye." The large man side-stepped into the hall. The door closed and Keith was unobserved once again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you SO MUCH to all those who commented. It means a lot to me. Even if it's about something you don't understand. Hearing from you guys lets me know I'm not wasting my time on something nobody likes, which is a big reason why I write. I love love love writing things that people enjoy. So thank you! ^w^


	3. Hey There, Dude

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Is Keith going to mess everything up? Does he even know what "everything" is?

Keith's ears were ringing. Everything had happened so fast. The flood of cold dread that overtook him when he'd realized the flaming Arusian town was a diversion was still thrumming through his veins. He was trapped with Allura right next to him. They were there. They were right. There. But they could do nothing. The castle was unreachable and Shiro and Lance were inside, prisoners. Hunk and Coran were gone on a now useless mission. And Pidge. He was probably long gone too.

"I'm leaving Team Voltron." It still shot frantic pangs through Keith's whole body. He had been ready to fight. He wanted to force Pidge to stay. He had to stay! They were a team! He couldn't just leave... Why couldn't he see how important this was? How did he not feel this immense responsibility? How could he so easily walk away from them?

Keith looked away, out onto the desert that melted into the dark orange sky. It was burning, but he was cold. Was Pidge really gone? There was rumbling boom from the castle, startling Keith. He looked to Allura, who was talking now. Her earrings were blinking purple light.

"Pidge! Pidge, can you hear me?"

"What's going on?" He heard it. Keith heard the voice he thought he may never hear again coming through Allura's hearing devices.

"Talk me through it, Allura." Pidge was in there. For a single, blissful moment, Keith's chest lightened. Pidge hadn't left. It's true that he let Hunk and Coran take his pod, but he still could have saved himself. Then, Keith's blood lit up like a fire. Pidge could die in there!

"Now, what I'm going to need you to do is- Pidge! Hello? Are you there? Pidge, what's going on?" Keith's body shook in a feeling so stron he had to punch the force field again. And again. And again. Allura didn't even notice him. Again and again until his hands begged him to stop, he hit the barier keeping him from helping his team. He felt useless. He felt like a traitor. His teammates were in there. Lance wasn't even conscious, Shiro was probably being tortured, and Pidge could have been killed minutes ago. Keith could do nothing about it.

"Keith." Allura looked so calm. In comparison to what he must look like. Her hand was on his shoulder and she pinned him with her stare. He couldn't look away. "There cannot be secrets between your fellow paladins. Is there something you need to tell me?" It was not a question.

"I... Yes." Suddenly, the shield began to evaporate. That was all Keith needed. He took off without a second thought, not caring if Allura was keeping up behind him. He burst through the door to see Sendak holding Pidge's limp body in his enormous hand. Keith drew his sword in no time flat, but was frozen in surprise when Lance sat up and fired his gun at the beast. He collapsed again, but Shiro, who was tied next to him, stood to fight. He was easily swatted aside, but that distraction was all Keith needed. He saw his opportunity and charged. It didn't matter how huge Sendak was, and it didn't matter how little chance Keith stood against him.

His sword made contact but the blow was parried, sending Keith's weight back. He refused to lose. This monster had wanted to kill Pidge. He had gotten too close. He would never let Sendak have that chance again. His foot shot out and he kicked with all his might, landing his boot right in Sendak's gut. He drew back again and slashed down. He wanted to slice right through the Galran's neck. Instead, his swing slid right past on the armor and he lost his balance. Before he could do anything, Sendak's metallic fist slammed into Keith's back, picking him up and sending him flying. He landed on his shoulder, then rolled onto his side, back slamming into a pillar. He was knocked breathless.

He heard a shout of dismay, and felt relief that it sounded like Sendak was going down. He felt light headed, but then he heard Pidge's outcry. He was fighting Sendak alone? Keith shot up and charged as fast as his legs could take him, seeing Pidge's green energy binding the Gulran. He was sparking and tiring out, but he caught Keith's blade in his natural hand. Keith felt his blood pounding through his ears and fingers, but knew Sendak was exactly where he needed to be.

"Keith! Now!" He jumped back, yanking his sword out of Sendak's grasp. The shields went up just in time, trapping the alien.

Kieth was too tired to be enthusiastic when Hunk and Coran came back.

"I'm staying with you guys." Pidge had said. Keith's entire body wanted to give out at that moment. The adrenaline and the strain and the stress of what had happened in the last few hours were catching up to him. All he could think to say was "Good to have you back on the team," and if he was honest, he wasn't sure what he meant by it. The small paladin looked at him with big, apologetic, excited eyes. What he'd really wanted to do was smother Pidge in a hug. He didn't die. And he didn't want to leave. Keith had hardly realized how important those two things were in the fray of battle. But now, there was nothing to protect him from the reality that he was... passionate about this. Whatever "this" was. Maybe the opposites of their lions made Keith and Pidge so attached. They relied on each other more than anyone else.

Keith was more drained than he had ever been that night. And he knew he wouldn't get a break tomorrow, because Hunk had made a promise. There was a balmara in need of saving, whatever a balmara was. They all ate quietly once they landed the castle back on Arusia. Everyone was tired. Pidge had almost fallen face-first into his food, but woke up enough to catch himself. Everyone chuckled at it and admitted one by one that they were about to pass out. Keith stayed at the table until it was only him, Shiro, and Allura left.

"Keith, go to bed. Whatever's bothering you can wait until you have the energy to deal with it." Shiro was so much like a father... It made Keith want to smile, but he was too tired. He gave the two a sideways look instead. Allura straightened.

"Oh! Yes, do you want to talk? I can help you." Keith couldn't believe the face Shiro made. The older paladin looked at Allura like she was the most incredible thing he'd ever seen. For some reason, Pidge's face flashed into Keith's mind. The expression on the green paladin's face after their batle, when he said he wasn't leaving, made Keith want to look at him the way Shiro was looking at Allura. Was this some sort of admiration? But with Shiro and Allura, it looked more like... love.

"Uh, no. I'm fine," he stood and made his way to the door, "I'll get sleep. We all need it." He turned back and smiled at them appreciatively and let the door close behind him. ONce in the hall, he let his eyes close. He knew his way, and he was falling asleep on his feet. He began peeling off his suit a few feet away from his door but stopped, eyes bursting open, when he heard someone clear their throat.

Standing next to his door, leaning against the wall, was Pidge. He stared at Keith for a few moments, who was in the middle of pulling his foot out of the suit. Then, Pidge smiled. Just a little, but it was a smile. Keith still wondered if Pidge had hated him, but now he had his hopes high that he didn't. Pidge spoke first, but waited for Keith to open the door to his room and step inside. Pidge shook his head, making his hair bob gently.

"Hey there, Dude. Heh heh" Pidge awkwardly made the gun gesture towards him and smiled lopsidedly.

"Uh. Hi. Are you okay?" He seemed surprised that Keith would talk to him. His eyes flickered down to Keith's neck for a moment, and his mind went to a very strange place before he remembered the mark. The one on his arm had gotten better after a few hours, but the scratches on his neck were still there. Pidge's gentle, open expression closed. His lips frowned slightly, looking like a pout more than anything.

"What? No! I mean yeah! I just, I don't know, thought I should... say I'm sorry. I shouldn't have attacked you last night. You just surprised me. I didn't expect anyone to be up that early." Now Keith remembered all the questions.

"Okay, that's fine, but did you have to be such a jerk? You whipped me with a towel and chased me out of a bathroom!" He felt horrible instantly. Pidge had shrunk back as Keith's voice got louder and now he wasn't looking at the red paladin at all. This isn't what Keith wanted. This was far from it! This was the opposite of what he wanted!

"Hey- Hey!" Pidge looked up and Keith refused to let him look away again, "I'm sorry, too. I don't know what I did, but it's clear you don't like me. I'm sorry you have to put up with me, but we're a team. We're both in this. We can't-"

"No!" Pidge blurted. "I don't dislike you! I mean you startled me and I don't like being startled. So I guess that means by that logic I disliked what you did. But that doesn't mean I dislike you? And I know we're in this together. I realized that when I agreed to stay. And I am staying. In case you didn't believe me. I really am! And, I mean, you don't have to believe me if you don't want. I suppose you shouldn't have to believe me because I've been unfair to you, but I hope you do. Even if you don't I'll stay and prove it to you. I-"

"Okay, stop." Keith couldn't help the smile that pulled the corners of his lips. "I get it. It's okay. I trust you..." Their eyes were locked, and Keith felt his heart pick up the pace. He was exhausted, and you know what? The small boy in front of him was too cute for this to be reality. He was already dreaming, and he needed to sleep in his dream to sleep properly in real life. He tossed his suit away and reached out. For a moment, he held his arms in the air around the small pilot. Then he was pulling Pidge into him. He felt glasses push uncomfortably into his chest. He didn't mind it, but he didn't like the thought of Pidge being uncomfortable. He closed his eyes and began back-stepping to his bed while ruffling his hands through the crazy, soft hair to pull the glasses off. Pidge shivered as they slid from behind his ears through his hair and onto the ground where Keith's uniform lay. His legs hit the bed just before the rest of him, and everything was soft and dark.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WEEEEEEEE COMMENTSSSSSSSS ^o^// I already know what's going to happen, but I figured I'd stop it there before I start spoiling everyone (mostly myself bc I'd much rather do this than hw) Can't wait to write the next scene :P


	4. Quiznacking Pinch Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Is this the real life, is this a fantasy ~ And do consequences aplyyyyyy

Keith's eyes opened slowly. It was still dark. He was still tired. It was so warm and comfortable in his bed it was rediculous. He shifted to pull the covers all the way up to his nose - it's cold at night when you're in a big metal castleship - but they didn't bugde. He grumbled.

"Come onnn" he hated tucking in the covers, because this happened. He assumed someone had come in and made his bed or something. It was fine. There was a warmth just behind him, right up against the wall. He rolled over and pulled Pidge away from the cold surface, running his hands over her back. It was chilled, and even though he felt cold it was pleasant to the touch.

He looked at her closely. He'd never had the chance before. He never had a reason... his eyebrows scrunched together at the thought. He didn't like the sound of that thought. It felt... bad. For lack of any other word. His brain could only think of how soft Pidge looked. How calm her face was. How her lips were parted and she was just barely starting to drool.

He wanted to kiss those lips. Something stronger than anything he'd felt before was pulling him close. It felt like there was a hot hand pulling him in by his heart.

His thumb was wiping the trickle away before he knew what he was doing, and he stared in slight disgust for a moment. He wiped it off on Pidge's shirt. Her shirt... it was scrunched up atound the shoulders and underarms and chest. That meant... 

Sometimes he's embarrassed how easy it is for curiosity and opportunity to win him over. But he'd never seen Pidge without a shirt. He'd seen Lance and even Hunk. But not Pidge. He scooted away, still laying on his side, and lifted the covers slowly. She was almost as pale as Keith on her face and arms and legs. But her stomach, he guessed, never saw the sun. Her skin was creamy and taught. She was so thin, but there was that little, gentle bump just below her bellybutton.

Eyes wide, eyebrows high, and heart rate higher Keith shoved the covers back down and looked up at the wall. Calm the hell down! Pidge shivered and made a little noise, like a puppy, and her hand appeared on his shoulder and gripped him.

Her eyes opened and Keith felt like he was shocked all over. Her eyes were so big and beautiful. He saw stars and nebulae in them, dark green and black swirling together. He felt himself being pulled in, and then he was on top of her. Without a word, she stared up at him and he felt a feeling he'd never felt before.

His skin felt like it was on fire, his muscles felt like they had all the power of his lion, of all their lions! His mind was reeling but only thinking one thing: protect her. There was movement in the corner of Keith's vision and when he turned to look, he saw purple claws. There were two, then tens, then hundreds surrounding the bed! 

Deep purple flooded the whole room and sharp crawls tore at the covers. They were pulling it to ribbon and climbing, all reaching for Pidge. It was like Keith wasn't even there. They were ignoring him, and he couldn't even feel them as they passed through his frantic hands. He desperately tried to pry them up, but they couldn't be moved. It was like he was already dead.

Then came a booming voice. "Keith, fire cannot kill fire."

Zarkon. The room began to spin as the Galran's laugh filled the air. Keith tried to ignore it and will the prying claws away from Pidge, but it was in vain. She was being consumed by them right from under Keith! He let out a cry of rage and terror, then jolted up.

The room was dark. Nothing was spinning, though he still felt dizzy. His heart was pounding, his teeth hurt, and his skin was damp. The sound of air moving outside, the low hum of the castle, this was his room. This was real. Right?

Keith forced his eyes open and let out a yell. There, right in front of him, was Pidge. He was crouching on the bed, facing Keith with fear twisting his face. Brown eyes. Big, worried, watery, brown eyes. High on adrenaline, Keith could only think "He's beautiful."

His lips were moving. "Keith? Keith! Keith, can you hear me? Wake up! Please!" He blinked at the small paladin a few times before opening his mouth. Nothing came out so he cleared his throat and wiped his face with the back of his hand and wrist. His eyes focused, and Pidge let out a poorly stuffed sob. Alarm bells went off in Keith's head.

"H-Hey! It's okay, Pidge. It's okay." He knew he couldn't keep the nervous twinge out of his voice, but he could remain calm. He awkwardly bit his lip, thinking, before putting a hand on Pidge's shoulder. He was quiet now, but shaking.

"What? Pidge, breathe. I can't understand you."

"Y-You scared m-me, I didn't- didn't know what t-to do-o!" He was hiding his face in his hands.

"Hey, no. You did know. You woke me up, right? I'm sorry I scared you. But everything's back to normal now. Shhh." Suddenly there was a flash of yellow. Pidge's eyes glowed so brightly in the dark that Keith had to close his eyes. He wanted to shield his face but his arms wouldn't move!

Pidge tackled him and pushed Keith back down on the bed, pinning him there by his biceps. He struggled, confused, but was held steadfast. An evil smile, full of deviant intent and cunning triumph shaped Pidge's lips. A thrum of fear shocked through him, but by the time it passed his chest it was another feeling entirely.

"Pidge! What-" Their lips met. Pidge's eyes closed, and Keith could see his face once again. His lips were soft and pressed hard into Keith's until their mouths were open. Keith was startled by the peircing feeling of teeth sinking into his lip-

"Ah!" Keith jolted. His brain was being cruel to him, but he knew he was awake this time. There were no unusual lights, no claws, and no Pidge. He was alone in his room. Like he should be. He had to be sure, though.

Bolting up, he sprinted to Hunk's room and flew through the door.

"HUNK! QUIZNACKING PINCH ME!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all you amazing people who read and give kudos and leave comments! You all are wonderful readers and you really are the source of determination for my writing. Thank you ^w^


	5. Not If She Doesn't Find Out

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> All the words that Keith wants to say, all the words that get in the waaaaay (When It's Over by Sugar Ray)  
> It shouldn't be this hard, but when Keith doesn't know what was a dream and what wasn't, how could the universe pass up an oportunity like this?

"AAH!" Hunk was screaming, bayard glowing and ready to fire, and Keith was screaming right on back.

"HOLY CRAP, HOLY CRAP, HOLY CRAP! HUNK DON'T SHOOT!" Keith flailed before jumping out of the way, lazer bullets whizzing by. The air grew rapidly hotter and he felt his hair stand up, whether in fear or from static he didn't know.

"Wha- Keith! Oh my gosh, Keith! What are you doing! Do you know what time it is? It's sleep time! That's what time! It's time for sleep! You can't come barging into a guy's room when he's trying to sleep, man! What if I hit you? What if I killed you! Oh my gosh I almost just killed you!" Keith's muscles were twitching, making his movements shaky as he stood and drew his arms from his head.

"Hunk," he said, with such deadpan seriousness that Hunk froze and stared, worried that he'd actually hit him. Keith took a deep breath. "Am I awake?"

They stood there for a moment. Hunk blinked at Keith and Keith stared uncomfortably at Hunk. Suddenly the yellow paladin's face twisted with anger and he reared his weapon back again, preparing to fire.

"OKAY, TIME TO GO!" Keith bolted out wide-eyed and moving faster than he thought he could. He didn't get far, though, because a few strides away from Hunk's door was a sleepy-eyed Lance, and there was no getting out of the way.

With more yells, they toppled to the ground. Keith quickly rolled back onto his feet, leaving Lance confused and flopping around on the floor. Lance was going to complain, if how wide is mouth was opening was anything to go by, but Keith had to stop him first because

"Lance, what on Earth is on your face?" Oh yeah, that stopped him. He shot up and made a face. Oh no, was that the face he made when he flirted? No wonder he's single...

"What, this?" He gestured fluidly to his face? Or the light green paste that was all over it. "This is just," he paused for dramatic effect and moved his hands around like he was going to do a magic trick, "my secret weapon! It's what keeps my face so perfect and smooth!" He practically cooed and smiled a glinting smile, "I know what you're thinking, but the ladies love it!"

"I don't think you know what I'm thinking"

"And it's okay to be jealous! I know you can't think of everything, otherwise you'd have brought some too."

"No way in-"

"Maybe next time we stop by a mall I'll get you some." Keith couldn't take it anymore. He burst out laughing and Lance looked shocked. Keith doubled over and wheezed,

"Oh my- Lance, you make it look like you'd rather be one of them!" The blue paladin gasped and clutched his chest in an offended manner. His blue silk tunic (dress) ruffled as he stepped forward challengingly.

"You, you dare think I'm gay?"

"Lance, " Keith inhaled, collecting himself. Once he stopped having to stifle giggles, he pinched the bridge of his nose. "Lance. Am I awake?" The bean pole just stood there.

"What do you mean are you awake?" He snapped. Then he did a mental double take. "Wait a minute. Is this a dream?" He jumped. He jumped again. He jumped a third time and flapped, then landed slightly sideways. His ancle rolled and he yelped. "Aw, man! This is so not a dream. Thanks, Keith!"

"What? That was in no way my fault! No one asked you to be an idiot."

"Yeah? Well no one asked you to be... to be delusional! Of course you're awake!" He paused, and Keith grew exponentially more awkward. He wanted to go back to bed... on second thought maybe not. "Keith, are you okay?" He shivered. The thought of the claws smothering Pidge's small figure, then the thought of Pidge on his bed in the first place made him the confused and frustrated and kind of sick. He needed to blow off steam, but he was okay.

"Yah. I'm fine. I just... had a bad dream. I'm gonna go train." He was already walking away and gone before Lance could question it. He wondered briefly if Hunk was asleep again, but he figured he'd find out soon enough.

Soon he was in bliss. Keith heaved long breaths to keep his heart steady, his blood pumping and his body pushing itself in the most satisfying way. Even the blows that the gladiators landed felt good, like Keith was being assured he was, in fact, awake. That the threat was real to him and a thing he could do something about. Then his mind was back on his dream again. Pidge, laying there under him. Pidge, looming over him. A blow landed on Keith's side as he'd dodged the wrong way. He shook his head. Nothing could shake him. He was in control, and everything would work out fine. It'd be okay. It would. Even in his dreams, he'd never let something get the better of him again. Never!

There was a flash and metalic crumpling. Sparks crawled up his sword as the gladiator fell, smoking and in peices. Well.... quiznack. He didn't want to wake Alura up, too... but another gladiator wasn't coming to fight him and after what felt like an hour Keith huffed and left the training room. Just outside the door, he wished he had something to do. He leaned and his back hit the wall with a satisfying "poff", but after that small moment of satisfaction a shock ran through him and there was a zzzap against the wall.

"Ahg! Really?" Keith jumped away from the wall and scowled at it. There was a chuckle from down the hall. He was talking before his brain even knew who he was looking at.

"Pidge! What are you doing awake again?" The mood automatically got worse. Pidge made an unfriendly face and his eyes dodged from side to side.

"Again? What do you mean again?" His voice felt too loud in the quiet, sleeping castle.

"Oh, I mean, didn't I see you earlier?" Oh man... Pidge gave him an impossible look. Keith had no idea what it was supposed to mean.

"Um. N-no. You didn't." The pitch of his voice increased. They stood in painfully awkward silence for a few ticks before a smile cracked Pidge's face and his eyes began flicking from Keith's head to the floor shyly.

"Ummm"

"Your hair is sticking up." The smile became too big to be subtle and Pidge opted to cover it with a hand and turn away slightly. Face heating up, Keith quickly patted his hair down.

"I broke a gladiator... and it shocked me..." Pidge seemed interested.

"When? Just now?" There were sparkles in his eyes. "Do you think Alura will get mad if I fix it?" Pidge began fidgeting with excitement and Keith started to wonder why it was making him feel funny. He smirked.

"Not if she doesn't find out."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I LOVE YOU GUYS SO MUCH! All your coments and the kudos mean so much to me!  
> I have finals now though so slow and steady TwT


	6. None of That Was Supposed to H-

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A gladiator gets fixed, but at what cost?

The training room felt immensely larger knowing it was just the two of them. Keith sat with his arms and legs crossed a few feet away from Pidge, who was in his own world of the gladiator's innards. After minute or two when he realized nothing was sparking or doing anything of interest, his mind wandered and his back slouched. The idea of telling Pidge his dream kept coming back like a returning itch that you just wanted to ignore. On and off he thought, what's the worst that can happen? It could be detrimental to the team if we aren't on even ground. If he did tell the smaller paladin, what could go wrong? What if he thought Keith was obsessed? What if he thought he was insane? What if he thought he decided that Keith wasn't trustworthy enough to be part of Voltron? Pidge cleared his throat, and Keith's eyebrow twitched a bit as he looked up from his lap.

"You're brooding."

"What? No, I'm not... I'm just thinking." This got the green paladin to focus his big brown eyes right on Keith. There was worry and curiosity and nothing but gentleness. He waited a moment, and Keith wasn't sure if it was hesitation or if Pidge was waiting for him to say something.

"Do ya wanna talk about it?" The childish way he spoke made Keith want to smile. It made his chest feel light.

"I... I've just been having nightmares... and it's making me think that I'm a danger to the team." Pidge's alarmed expression and the way he jolted upright made Keith realize that sounded worse than it was.

"I mean! I don't mean that I'm sleep walking or anything. I just... I feel like I have a connection to Zarkon. Like something about me or around me is letting him... I don't know. Get to us." He couldn't hold Pidge's wide stare. The stare narrowed.

"You know that's not likely, even if it were possible." Pidge paused to examine the work he'd done on the gladiator, fidgeting with the wires sticking out of the hole in its chest. "We've all noticed this. It's not just me trying to make you feel better. You're too hard on yourself. You lived in a shack in the desert miles away from any other forms of life. I get it. But we're a team now..." Another pause. "I wanna find my family. You probably wanna find yours. But right now, in this fight, while we're in this incredible castle-ship, we are family. That means we carry the weight of each other. No matter what. Isn't that why you told me to stay?" Guilt shot through Keith's chest. Pidge seemed to notice. "And I'm glad you did." Without any warning, the small paladin scooted closer to Keith, gladiator falling to the floor, and placed a hand over his. Every inch of Keith jumped on the inside, but he couldn't move.

"It's okay that you're not used to it. But you can't be worrying about things like Zarkon finding you through dreams." A smile returned to his face and he withdrew his small, warm hand. Keith's face was on fire, and his defenses shattered.

"You were in my dream. You died. I think. And it was Zarkon. He told me I couldn't hide. I couldn't save you. And I..." Shame and shyness caught up to Keith at that moment, and his mouth shut on his tongue. Jolting back, he closed his eyes and hissed in pain, covering his mouth with his hands. The sudden movement made Pidge jump, and some part of the still broken gladiator moves, sparking and igniting behind the small paladin. They both jolted to their feet, and Keith used his jacket to kill the small flames. The look on Pidge's face was beyond definition. He was just as flustered and confused as Keith.

"Ow, ow ow... none of that was supposed to h-"

"Is that why you asked why I was awake again?" Keith couldn't find a reason to deny it.

"Uh. Yeah." The awkward silence stretched on for a while. Too long. But neither of them knew what to say. Finally,

"Well, I'm okay. Zarkon didn't get me. And as far as I can tell, so far you have been able to protect me." Near the end, Pidge's words seemed to hitch and stumble on the way out. Did he not believe what he was saying?

"But do you actually believe that? I mean all I've done is- is nothing. I haven't done anything. What am I even bringing to the team? You and Hunk are smart, and you can fix things! Lance... I guess Lance brings up morale. So does Coran and Allura. And they control the ship. They've given us a place to say. And of course Shiro is an amazing leader. What do I actually do? I use a sword! Why! We have guns! And-"

"Keith." 

"What?" That came out harsher than he meant it to. Pidge's openness evaporated, and he pulled away, refocusing on the smoking gladiator.

"Nothing. The Red Lion chose you, so obviously you aren't useless." The hurt hung in the air, and Keith let it soak into him. He deserved less than what he was getting from the others.

"I'm sorry." Pidge didn't stop or say anything until the gladiator twitched, and was swallowed by a hole that appeared in the floor. The room sounded with a gentle ping, and another gladiator dropped from the ceiling. Keith heard Pidge whisper "Uh-oh" from behind him, and reached his hand back.

"Computer, end training sequence!" The gladiator's charge halted. It, too was swallowed up by the floor. Keith turned to Pidge, offering a timid smile. "You fixed it. That's really cool." Pidge inspected Keith for a moment before a smirk broke onto his face and he pushed his glasses up the bridge of his nose. The lenses glinted in the white light. It was so typical, mad scientisty, and ... the word cute caught on the edge of Keith's thoughts. He was about to laugh, but suddenly the tiredness hit him. He went to blink, and opening his eyes again was the hardest thing he'd done in who knows how long.

"I'm so tired. I think I'm gonna go..." Keith's eyes opened and he saw Pidge stand slowly. There was still a small smile on his lips as he watched Keith stand up, too.

"Uh, yeah. I should... too." All at once the fear of having another dream landed on Keith's body like a waterfall. He was exhausted but didn't want to sleep.

"Are you worried about having another dream?" Keith shivered pleasantly at the warmer air of the hall. He didn't want to respond. It might have been introvertedness. It might have been shyness. Maybe he was scared of what could possibly happen if he said yes. He was scared of what he wanted to happen if he said yes.

"You don't have to if you don't wanna, but you can stay in someone else's room tonight. I'd be fine with it. I'm sure Hunk and Shiro would let you. Lance too, but... you know." He chuckled, but Keith was still frozen in his own mind. He didn't even realize he wasn't walking. He was so tired, he was cold again and his legs wouldn't move. His eyes closed, and when they didn't open he felt like he was floating. Like gravity was turned off, and he was asleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have been dead. Sorry ^w^; I'm alive and kicking now though, so a million thanks to anyone who's still around. I'm already almost done with the next chapter soooooo~


	7. Nothing Happened

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Keith's emotions have been coming out form the small box he kept them in. Are they only pushing him backwards?

The artificial light of the room cut through Keith's eyelids. Something in his mind clicked on, and suddenly it was so bright, even with closed eyes. Groaning, he rolled onto his side. He groaned again. He felt his spine decompress and the light cease its attack on him, and it was so good. His left arm snuggled his chest from under him, but his right came up to rub the side of his face. Soon he was rubbing the left side of his face into the pillow, and stretched his legs. They shook and he sighed, content. There was a tickle near the top of his head where a clump of his hair started to move in a different direction. He yawned and began to open his eyes.

His heart dropped violently when he saw that he was facing a wall. His bed wasn't in this corner of the room. He shot up, adrenaline making him dizzy but keenly aware. He turned and saw the door was behind him to his right, and there was junk all over the floor, and... And there was Pidge sitting at a desk facing the back wall. His body was turned away from Keith, but he could see there was a red tint to the back of his neck. Was he... blushing? Did he... see all that? Keith's face was probably glowing, and he let it fall into his hands.

"Don't... don't say anything if you saw that." A few second later, Pidge was crumbling onto the desk with giggles and Keith was combusting, ashes melting into the bed. "Stop, stop, stooop, please" He rambled until finally Pidge was gasping for breathe and holding his stomach. Keith was so done he just watched. Pidge was wearing a green tunic shirt thing that was obviously from the castle. The material was thin. He knew it was warm because he'd tried on the clothes too, but they didn't suit him. With the way he was laughing Keith could see just how slim Pidge was... His shoulders were round and his neck looked soft. His chest was thin, and Keith could probably put his hands all the way around that small waist, and what on earth was he thinking? Pidge swiveled around and that didn't make it better. He didn't have time to move his eyes! Now he was staring at the front and... had it always looked like...

Suddenly Pidge cleared his throat and fidgeted in his seat, "Um, can I help you?" His eyebrows were on two completely different levels. Keith just got out of the bed and began putting the sheets back in order. Only once it was made did he stand by it and looked at his feet.

"How did I get here?" Pidge's expression changed again, like he was in thought.

"Oh! You walked. I helped you, because you were mostly unconscious. And I, you know, I didn't want you to be alone in case you had a bad dream. So... And don't worry, I slept on a nest of clothes I made over there. It was really quite comfortable!" Sure enough there was a large pile of clothes and pillows. It looked pretty good, but Keith felt bad.

"I'm sorry. I don't wanna cause you so much trouble. I can go to my room now. I'll be fine." Pidge smiled.

"Okay, but I don't think you'll be able to go unnoticed. Just giving you a heads up." He turned back around and continued tapping away on the computer that was on the desk.

"What? Why?" Keith was getting really unsettled by the sound of this.

"Oh, nothing. It's just that Shiro went to talk to you this morning and found your room was empty, then Lance told him and Allura that you were with me, and Hunk said you came into his room acting like a zombie. It sounds to me like you'll have a lot of explaining to do is all." Keith groaned and sat on the bed.

"Well that's fine. Nothing happened." He paused, and he could sense Pidge halting as well. "I- I mean nothing bad happened. I didn't have another dream, and I'm not a zombie. So..." Something wasn't right. A thought was gnawing at the tip of Keith's tongue, but it wasn't coming to him. He felt like he shouldn't leave yet, or else he would lose the chance to say whatever it was, but he couldn't think of it. What could it be? He was just going to tell the truth to everyone when he went outside. It wasn't that big of a deal. So what...

"Yah... Nothing happened." Pidge sounded so distant it made Keith look up at him. He was back at work on the computer. He seemed so into it that Keith decided it was time to go outside. Moving exposed him to cold air, and he shivered but didn't let it stop him. Pidge didn't notice him leave.

He barely made it to the kitchen before Shiro and and Lance and Hunk were all over him. Whatever face he made told Shiro he was not in the mood. The black paladin motioned for the other two to go away. Keith felt bad, seeing the disappointing and left out looks on their faces, but they were fine. They went back to talking over their breakfast. Shiro stepped in close. It was comfortable. Keith leaned on the doorway, and Shiro crossed his arms.

"I heard you were running around last night. Woke Hunk up. Ran into Lance. Allura was notified that a gladiator was damaged. And repaired. I checked on you this morning. You weren't in your room." Keith didn't know what to say. Shiro sighed gently. He wasn't upset. He was worried, and that made Keith feel worse. "Where did you sleep?"

"I passed out. Pidge took me to his room." Shiro shifted and suddenly dread flooded Keith's chest. What was wrong with that?

"Keith..." Shiro sighed again and drew a hand across his face, rubbing his eyes before locking stares again. "Forcing you won't help. But this could be a serious problem. I want you to talk to me." Keith looked at the other two paladins across the room, heard the footsteps coming from the other side of the hallway, and felt his jaw lock shut. This wasn't anything serious. He didn't need to worry Shiro about it.

"It's nothing." He gave Shiro a small smile. "I just couldn't sleep and pushed a little too hard trying to blow off steam." The older paladin didn't seem to be satisfied, but backed away with a gentle smile. He had a handle on this. It would be perfectly fine. Once the protection of Shiro's presence was gone, however, he quickly realized he was at the mercy of the others' curiosity. He saw Lance elbow Hunk toward him, so he strode in awkward, desperate haste to get some breakfast and left, pretending they hadn't called to him. If ever, now was not the time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy Valentines day!!!! I love you all! Comments are loved, criticism or not. Also, does anyone want a good Spike Spiegel x Reader fic??? (is looking for an excuse to write something M for Mature)


	8. Anyone Else Thirsty?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> As if his emotional problems weren't bad enough, for once Lance might be right.

If Keith had ever thought he'd never have a normal life, he was wrong. Being taken from Earth was an interesting twist, sure. But Keith didn't feel like he really left anything behind. He had questions, but the answers might not even be there anymore. So most of his life was out of the ordinary; the worst parts weren't. He would never admit it out loud, but that honest part of him he never wanted to listen to was right. He liked the idea of leaving emotions behind on Earth. And he tried. From the get go he was passive, except for when he was right and Lance was wrong, and he pushed the questions he had out of sight. He refused to give them voice. Even so, they caught up to him. They were like flies buzzing in his ears and orbiting around his head.

So he stepped down the hall to the training room slowly. His shoulders felt heavy and his eyes felt strained and his head felt hazy and he had been like this for days. He was vaguely aware that everyone was beginning to pick up on it. Shiro had tried to approach him about it again, hell even Pidge, and Lance, and Allura had. He forced his brain out of the fog enough to assure them he was fine, but didn't have the strength to keep it up afterwords. After another few battles and a couple more wins, hiding it was pointless. He hadn't even gotten through the lounge after leaving his lion before he found himself cornered. Fear tightened his chest, seeing everyone's concern- their frustration. But, of course, Shiro caught on and knew what to do.

"Alright, Lance, Hunk, Pidge? Go with Coran and help him make repairs." Coran's head popped out form around the corner at that.

"I certainly could use some help realigning the-" Keith stopped listening. Allura was pinning him with a glare of sorts. It was more like disappointing sadness. She was beating herself up. When the others left and Shiro regained eye contact, Keith could tell he was doing the same. This was all wrong. This was a victory! They should be celebrating! They should be happy. They others had left and Keith couldn't breathe, but he knew he had to say something. This wasn't their battle.

"We're getting better at this." A feeble forced smile did nothing for his cause. They weren't buying it anymore. He tried again, "I'm just tired. After being inside a giant space monster to collect its... You know." He tried to walk past them, tried to be invisible, but Allura's hand moved lightning fast to his shoulder and stopped him. She seemed surprised at this, and as if she felt like she was overstepping her bounds she retracted her hand and looked away. Shiro's hand came up and rested on her back, a movement barely noticeable to Keith, but he saw. It made him feel strange. Shiro's other hand replaced where Allura's had been and practically forced Keith to make eye contact.

"It's been weeks, Keith."

"I know, I-"

"This can't go on. It's getting worse for you and affecting the whole team,"

"I'm getting better, it's fine-"

"We have to fix this, or else-"

"I said I'm fine!" He pulled his shoulder out of Shiro's hand and stumbled backwards away from them. "I said I'm fixing it!" The surprise on the older two's faces slowly calmed to worry again. Keith's eyes and nose began to sting. Shiro stepped forward, closing the space between them again.

"I know. I hear you. But I don't think it's working. Let us help you, please. If not for your own sake, for ours. Every time we-"

"Stop..."

"Every time we get into those lions, we all feel how much you're struggling. We all know-"

"Stop."

"how hard you're trying, but it isn't okay, Keith. Something is wrong,"

"Please, just..."

"and we've left you on your own long enough. We can help, and If we can't, we can find something that can, so-"

"I'm sorry." His voice had been to choked back to be heard, but it broke and suddenly the words came out in a sob. Shiro froze, hand half way to his shoulder to regain eye contact, and he took it back. For what felt like an eternity, Keith stood there, trying desperately not to tremble from holding it all in. Without warning, there was warmth all around him, two sets of arms, and the gentle squeeze was enough to shatter him. Another sob forced its way out, and he tried to cover it up with a cough but it was no use. He couldn't stop it now.

They stood there until Keith felt faint and thirsty and weightless. He shifted, such a small movement he wondered if he actually did it or just thought he did, but it was enough for Shiro to know to let go, and Allura followed suit. He didn't want to look up, but he glanced at them, curious and guilty. Allura was crying, and Shiro looked like he had been before, but he knew he needed to be strong. It made the horrible feeling come back, and he looked away. Shiro had more important things to worry about, he shouldn't have to be strong for Keith anymore, Keith should be strong enough for himself now. But somehow, Shiro always knew.

"Keith, don't do that to yourself." The hand came to his shoulder, and he had no choice. Locked in, Shiro took a deep, relaxing breath. "You are strong. Just because there is something you can't do on your own does not make you weak. You have us. All of us. And we make each other stronger than you know. So let us help." He paused for a second, not wanting to make the boy cry again. Then, quietly, "You're going to be just fine."

Allura sniffled from behind Shiro, but she was smiling and nodding. Shiro stepped back and held his head high. The air around Keith felt cooler, and he too took a deep breath, puffing out his chest and lifting his head. Part of him wanted another hug, but he felt too fragile. He felt like he was about to snap in half and crumble into the floor. He didn't want any more silence either.

"Anyone else thirsty?" He smiled, less forced but just as awkward. The grins of the other two made him feel stronger. They agreed and the three of them made their way to the kitchen. Keith was vaguely surprised to see everyone there. They all looked up and fell silent, and boy that is not what Keith needed right then. And again, Shiro knew it.

"Who's ready for some dinner?" Everyone perked up and Hunk and Coran got up out of their seats, rolling up their sleeves. The two of them happily set to making dinner, Shiro, Keith and Allura joined the other paladins at the counter. Lance took Shiro's hint, and began his cheerful rant about how amazing they're getting at "this whole Voltron thing". It was pretty much the same thing after every battle, but it was making Keith feel at ease. Fighting the urge to constantly correct him, yes, but at ease. Before he knew it, he was drifting off to the smell of food and happy chatter of his friends. Friends.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for disappearing again! Something happened and my computer kept deleting progress instead of saving it??? I got frustrated and needed a break. I've fixed it hopefully and I am back in business! ^w^ Let me know if you want me to include more of the canon plot, or if I can keep it in the background. Either way there will be more in the next chapter, just to remind that time has been passing.


	9. Are You Scared Too?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Saving Slav was a little less than gratifying, but realizing his own secret has put Keith in a worse lace than before. Not long ago Allura was acting like a mother to him, and now? How could everyone change so fast, when nothing changed about him at all?
> 
> NOTE FROM THE AUTHOR: I think I forgot to mention something kinda sorta important. In this fic, Pidge never came out as a girl. Everyone was just left to figure it out, so Lance doesn't know either. I'm going to re-do that scene later on, but I promise it's the only canon thing I'm going to change.

Someone had carried Keith to his room and tucked him in that night. Which was horrifyingly embarrassing. And when he woke up, he felt like he hadn't eaten in days. Which, he really hadn't, but it hadn't hurt until then. The thought of being asleep in front of everyone made him uncomfortable, but it was done now. That was days ago... He listened for a bit. It didn't sound like anyone was awake, but they could all be in the kitchen or the bridge. The moment he moved, he realized he hadn't showered after sweating a lot and then crying a lot, and ew. That was unfortunate. Grabbing his clothes form Earth, he headed to the showers. He lost himself to his thoughts. When they first came into contact with the blade of Marmora, he was skeptical; were there really Galra out there that didn't want to rule over everything? But now that Keith knew he was part of them, connected to them, he knew it was true. He wanted to trust them, because if he didn't what would that mean? That he, too, was bound to end up like Zarkon? He thought about his knife. Who his mother could have been. What could she possibly have been thinking?

The showers were all empty, judging by the ringing quiet in the cold room. He turned the water on and shivered as it spurted out a cold mist before it streamed down like normal. Something must have gotten knocked around during the last fight. His skin was sticky and pale. It never occurred to him how bad his farmer's tan would be now that they're in space, never really out in the sun. The castle probably emitted some sort of radiation, because in the mirror his face did seem a bit darker than the rest of him. He stepped into the warm water and immediately decided that he needed it to be cold. Soon he was shivering, but it was pleasant. It was like something cool and gentle was massaging his heat, combing through his hair, and it was the opposite of what he's been living in. Did Zarkon still shower? Keith cringed and violently murdered that train of thought. He didn't care. It wasn't like they could release some horror movie murderer and have all their problems solved. Now that he thought about it thought, he's only ever showered with Shiro or Lance around. Hunk and Pidge always went in after. Do they get scared thinking of old horror movies?

A bit of water got in his eyes and he hissed. It wasn't pure water. It was soapy with something that cleaned you off nicely. He slammed the side of his fist against a small silver button on the wall and the soapy water went away, and it was safe to wash his eyes out. He stayed like that for a while, forearms propping him against the wall. They had a plan. They were going to put together a giant teleduv, and it was going to work.

"I mean of course the teleduv is gonna work, the Olkari are building it. But, the plan. It had to. There are unthinkably many things that could go wrong, but they couldn't. Thinking about what he knew of the plan, his parts to play, how many moving pieces there were, it would work. Zarkon was going down.

These thoughts continued for a bit as Keith stewed in the plan and how scared he really was without admitting it in words. There were lots of things he'd have to forget about for now- the robeasts, joining the Blade of Marmora- and after a few minutes the shivering was no longer comfortable. He turned the water off, dried himself, and dressed. The fabric was warm and soft against his clean, cold skin and it was satisfying. He needed whatever amount of sleep he'd gotten, because he felt amazing! He made his way back to his room only to dumb his suit in the bin that made it clean, and went on to the kitchen. He was met only by the mice. He eyed them, and looked around. No one was here.

"You guys have no idea what's about to happen, do you." And much to his surprise, they lined up and nodded. He took a step back. "Um." What. "So, wait, you knew what I was saying when I was talking about... oh my- well that's great. Do you talk to anyone else?" They seemed to mimic everyone else on the ship. So that was a yes. He stepped forward again and leaned on the counter. "So, does Allura hate me now? Because I'm part Galra?" The mice looked at each other before turning back to him and shaking their heads with vigor. He scoffed, "Coulda' fooled me," but he was relieved. Even after helping her on the Balmera, she seemed happier to ignore him. He felt like they were the only friends he'd ever have. Like they were becoming family. His mind went to Shiro. He decided then and there that if Shiro had the faith in him to trust that this mission will work, Keith would have that faith too. Shiro, out of anyone, could survive, could make things work. Shiro, out of anyone, has truly earned it.

"What does Pidge talk about?" He didn't even realize he was talking when he asked. His mind had been wandering, thinking about family and what it's like. What it'll be like if they get the chance to see Earth again. If any of them will make their own families when this mission ends well. The mice either didn't understand, or pretended not to, because they looked around, side-eyeing each other before scattering. He chuckled. He could practically feel how much of a mess his head was. It was about an hour until Shiro woke up. Keith found him going straight to the training room, and jogged to meet him at the entrance. Shiro looked up and smiled a crooked smile.

"We really shouldn't be training right now. Especially after that robeast on the Balmera." He was definitely right. After everyone got up they'd be going to Olkaria to pick up the teleduv, and then they'd need all the energy they could store.

"No, we shouldn't be. Let's do this." They rushed in, but just as the laser shooters circling them were about to open fire, they powered down and disappeared into the floor. Confused and disappointed, both paladins looked around. Allura was in the control center frowning at both of them. She waved at the two paladins and they followed her out and to the bridge to wait for everyone else. Slav was already there, laying across one of the monitors.

"Shiro, you should know it is not wise to use all your energy right before a battle." Keith's heart sank a bit. She still... "The same goes for you.." They both were startled by her continuation. He stepped away from the front of the room and Shiro followed him, which Keith was very grateful for. He felt angry at having done nothing wrong, but pushed passed it, and Pidge stretched and ambled into the room. Keith straightened and looked away. For some unknown reason, he got jealous of how happy Pidge was whenever they were on Olkaria. The green paladin said good morning and for some stupid reason, Keith refused to believe that he was walking to him. An elbow jabbed into his arm.

"Hey, good morning?" Pidge's eyes were big and bright, two things that Keith doesn't notice about things very often. So it made him stare. He was so stressed. He could tell, because suddenly everyone else in the room was gone. Pidge was such a small person. How was he okay right now? And Keith wasn't? How much did Pidge, little nerdy Pidge, believe in him that he was ready for this fight? Said paladin cleared his throat and glanced out the electronic window. In a nervous trance, so did Keith. They were almost there. He couldn't stop himself.

"Are you scared too?" Keith's voice was barely a whisper, something in his throat not working right. He looked back at Pidge as the small boy leaned in. He smiled.

"I am. But do we really have anything to lose?" At first, that was terrifying. If they lost, dead or not the world they new would be gone forever. But then it was okay. Keith realized that the stress wouldn't help him. And then he realized what Pidge actually meant.

"You believe in us that much?" Keith couldn't comprehend what Pidge was saying. He would never trust himself like that. He trusted the other paladins, sure, but not... The green paladin smiled wider and chuckled.

"I do. We got this!" He held out his hand. Keith smiled back and high-fived it right as Hunk dragged Lance into the room. They all stepped forward again, and Allura turned. Keith was so nervous. 

"Allura, have you heard from Coran?"

"Yes." And that was it. Lance took over, but Keith felt ashamed. Like maybe he had done something wrong. No... Allura doesn't really mean what she's doing. Right? But.. then she thanked Hunk. Like Keith wasn't even there. On such a dangerous mission. And Hunk stood up for him, but his chest still filled with lead.

The sun was setting on Olkaria when they landed. Keith stood behind Allura, unsure if he was hiding or wanting to reach out. Aside from Coran over-reacting to a fist bump, he focused his mind on the mission. Slav was hitting the teleduv with a rock, but Keith knew he wouldn't do anything to kill them. Or, he told himself he knew. He couldn't afford to feed his doubts anymore. Shiro lead them outside and they stood in the breeze, looking over the planet they had saved. Out of the corner of his eye, Keith could see Pidge. He sat on the edge, and he glowed. No. He need to be thinking about Zarkon. Zarkon.

"What's everybody thinkin' about?"

"Zarkon" He was glad he wasn't the only one, but he was surprised when Hunk said, "Calzones." The more Hunk said, the more he realized that there just might be something after Zarkon, and they would be there to see it if there were. It gave him hope.

"We've come a long way..."

"Yeah," Lance chuckled, "Remember when Hunk used to throw up from riding in the elevator?" He wasn't in the mood to reminisce, but it was nice to hear them chatter...

"- Keith tried to beat him up even though he's the size of a peanut." He tuned in at the mention of his name, and was not having this.

"He was their bravest warrior!" He felt completely justified! Pidge breathed a small laugh.

"How 'bout the time the food goo attacked us in the kitchen?" Keith hadn't been there for that, but when he saw the devastation he could only imagine what had happened. He could feel everyone getting excited. Keith turned to the other paladins. His friends. Lance was ranting about their adventures when Pidge leaped up and reminded the group of the cubes they fought on Olkaria the last time they were there. He looked so enamored. Another pang of jealousy burst through his finger tips to his chest, but he kept it down. Then Shiro spoke.

"You realize once we defeat Zarkon, the universe won't need Voltron anymore." He turned to the rest of the paladins. Lance was quick, the first to say what was surely on all the other's minds.

"We could return to Earth." But then, something closer to home for Keith,

"I can look for my family." Now was the time, if there was one, to open up.

"I guess I could look for mine." The jealousy ebbed.

"This is it." Shiro looked back out into the orange sky of Olkaria. "As long as everything goes according to plan, we can't fail." Something about those words, from Shiro's voice, broke through something in Keith's mind. Suddenly, he saw the future clearly. They were going to win. Not just because they had to, but because they had each other, and they were strong together. The would win because they had more to do in their lives than fight Zarkon. They had lives outside Zarkon. Outside of space, as silly as it seemed. At home, on Earth. It couldn't end here. Because they were going to win.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A little plot heavy, but oh well.

**Author's Note:**

> Hi! So honestly I fell in love with Pidge a long time ago. So I HAD to watch it and I finally started and now I NEED KEITH TO FALL IN LOVE. Also, does anyone else think Voltron is the child of Halo in props and Avatar TLAB in character?
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> Coment??? :D


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